Bedtime Stories for Bastards

She looked ‘round the house and found nothing there
But saw outside in the yard bugs and dirt everywhere
So she scooped up some bugs in a handful of dirt
For a little more flavor, a few ants couldn’t hurt.

She baked the cake in the oven, in an hour it was done.
It was so perfect that she declared
“THIS IS THE BEST CAKE IN THE WORLD, EVERYONE!”

(Excerpt from “Best Cake in the World”)

Bedtime Stories for Bastards

(as Baba Bengali)

A collection of rhyming couplet cautionary tales about the humourous misadventures of a series of saucy youngsters.

The Boy in the Tree
An acerbic boy retreats from the world to live in a tree, where he must learn to share with a like-minded girl.

The Best Cake in the World
A poor young girl invokes the seven deadly sins to become the Cake Queen of her town.

Candyland
In protest of eating vegetables, a girl journeys into Candyland where she must pass perils and pitfalls on a quest to the Cinnamon Forest.

A Tale of Two Families
Two friends are separated by families obsessed with opposing ideologies, and witness the destruction that fanatical adults incite.

Little Gabby Gossipbag
A girl who loves to spread gossip through her medieval hamlet learns to be careful for what she wishes.

Those Who Know Best
A boy sets out on a journey toward enlightenment, encountering several adults who think they know what’s best for him.